13 May 2023- Glen Innes to Moree

Up betimes to inspect the principal point of interest at Glen Innes, the "Australian Standing Stones"

The Australian Standing Stones is a kind of Antipodean Stonehenge which was erected or built or assembled by the progeny of the first Celtic settlers of the surrounding region.

The Australian Standing Stones -or some of them

An historic Celtic picnic table

An historic Celtic barbecue

An historic rock- hard Celtic erection

A surprising feature of "the Stones" is the Gorsedd Stone. The Prop once cross-examined a Welshman who was a Derwyd of the Gorsedd of the National Eistedfodd which, according to him meant that he was. the equivalent of a wizard of the Royal Society of Wales. (Fife Taff to confirm) Fittingly, he was a paleo-anthropologist.

The Gorsedd Stone and accompanying plaque

The Prop then attempted to remove Excalibur from its stone and would almost certainly have succeeded had it not occurred to him that being declared King of Australia as a result of some farcical archeological ceremony was no basis for a system of government; that supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses!

The Prop - contemplating the true nature of democracy

The Prop then had a crack at being a human sundial. By standing in the right place the Prop cast a shadow on a circular brass ring marked with the hours of the day. It was 10.10 am!

The Prop, being a temporary sundial

Another notable feature of the Stones is the Celtic runes hewn into many of them. Could this one be the mystic runes of Caerbannog?

Quite possibly the work of Tim the Enchanter? (Monty Python fans may understand)

We left Glen Innes heading for Moree but, on the way, we stopped for lunch at Warialda.  The Prop finds it difficult to know what to make of this little town. There is a statue or monument - apparently to the honey industry- called "R2Bee2"! The Prop struggles to find a connection between Star Wars and bees. Any suggestions?

The Tadpole in the shadow of R2Bee2

There is also a mystifying cartoon on the exterior wall of the town toilet facility.  Something to do with ploughing, plovers and an "orthinogogist".

Exterior wall. Content of interior walls not fit for publication

Also at Warialda can be found this startling and very rare example of what the Prop thinks may be a dwelling built in the Gwydir Celtic Roccoco Revivalist style.

Stunning!

12 May 2023 - Tenterfield to Glen Innes

Up betimes to take in the much-vaunted sights of Tenterfield. 

Checked out of the recently refurbished Royal Hotel built in 1849 but later remodelled in the 1940's in the "Spanish Mission" style - a strange choice for a regional Australian town you may think?

The Royal Hotel, Tenterfield

Although the Prop was eager to see the Tenterfield Cork Tree, Mrs P suggested a visit to the nearby tourist info centre to get the good oil. 

Mrs P eventually emerged from the info centre armed with a large map and a smaller sheet depicting a 38 kilometre "Tourist Drive No 9". 

Frankly the Prop was a little unnerved by the prospect of another Tourist Drive, but Mrs P had been assured that THIS one was more than worth a long hard look. 

First though, to the Tenterfield Cork Tree. Planted in 1861, it is said to be the largest cork Tree in Australia! 

The sign adjacent to the Tenterfield Cork Tree

The Prop does not know precisely how many cork trees there are in Australia but this is the first one the Prop has ever seen. That is not to say that this may be the only cork tree in Australia but it is to say that, to the best of the Prop's knowledge, there aren't that many 

The Tenterfield Cork Tree - possibly the most exciting thing in Tenterfield (excluding the Hon. Barnaby Joyce MP)

Following the tree inspection the Prop and Mrs P embarked upon Tourist Drive No 9.

The first attraction is "Doctors Nose"

Frankly, the Prop was baffled. 

Three observations can be made regarding this feature:

First, it does not look like a nose.

Secondly, it does not exhibit any obvious features that suggest that it resembles the schnozz of a medical man,  and

Thirdly,  it does look very much like a hill.

(The Doctor's Nose may be viewed from Kildare Road. Perhaps it resembles the nose of Richard Chamberlain who famously played Dr Kildare in the 1960's  American television series?)

Doctor's Nose - about as interesting as a hill can be

Richard Chamberlain in his hey-day with  his quite unremarkable nose

Just when the Prop thought that nothing could surpass the cork tree or Doctor's Nose, we came upon "Draining Rock". No idea why it is called that although, the Prop accepts that when it rains water probably drains off the rock.

Draining Rock -about as interesting as a large rock can be.

Around the next bend was "Balancing Rock" which consists of a smallish rock apparently balancing on a larger rock. Stunning!

 The inventively named Balancing Rock

Next, the undoubted highlight of the drive, Mt McKenzie Lookout, which provides an expansive view of Tenterfield and the surrounding region. Trouble is, it's all a bit too far away to see things.

The vista from Mt McKenzie Lookout

The stunning Tourist Drive No 9 completed, we headed for Glen Innes, a town with some interesting architecture which betrays the evident optimism of its early inhabitants.

The Club Hotel,Glen Innes -grand Federation style

The Kwong Sing & Co Empriorium - imperial Sino-Celtic Commercial style?

"Kwong Sing War" - obvious reference to early keen commercial competition in the area

The now National Australia Bank

The Glen Innes Post and Telegraph Office - no internet here yet?

The Great Central Hotel - another Federation era pub

And so to the Fossicker Caravan Park for another night in the Tadpole.

The Tadpole -seen here at Mt McKenzie Lookout. Perfick!

11May 2023 - Woodenbong to Tenterfield (via Legume, Killarney & Warwick)

Up betimes to prepare for the deliberately circuitous journey to Tenterfield.

First, a visit to the Woodenbong Campground Dump Point to attend to the usual formalities.

The Woodenbong Dump-Ezy - bog standard

The first port of call, Legume, a town possibly named after a person, possibly named after a pea, a bean or the famous tennis player, Ivan Lentil?

Legume - a nice place to have a pea

Then on to the Tooloon Lookout to which the Prop drove 7 kilometres out of his way only to find that it no longer seems to exist. Good view of the New England Ranges from the side of the road though!

Kept a look out for Tooloon Lookout but couldn't find it anywhere

Next, to Queen Mary Falls, not a lot of water but, on the plus side, very high!

More importantly, the Queen Mary Falls are located in Queensland, which State of the federation we entered at approximately 1100 hours.

Queen Mary Falls - and never gets up!

There is a very attractive picnic area at Queen Mary Falls complete with toilet facilities. Unfortunately today, the "Johnson Suisse" ceramic urinal in the gentlemens' section would appeared to have been cut off from the water supply. A circumstance which immediately brought to the Prop's mind that immortal nihilist phrase from "The Big Lebowski":

"Ve cut off your Chonson!"

Queen Mary's Johnson - completely cut off!

After the inspiring vision of the regally named Queen Mary Falls, it was only fitting that the Prop and Mrs P should visit a waterfall named after the dung-infested dangly woollen bits around a sheep's anus that attract flies and maggots - Daggs Falls

Daggs Falls - a somewhat less regal nomenclature

After taking lunch at Warwick, we headed south to Tenterfield bidding a fond farewell to the State of Queensland at approximately 1600 hours. So, in total, the Prop and Mrs P spent about 5 hours in the State of Queensland but, as the late Barry Humphries would say: "At least you can say you've seen it!"

After arriving in Tenterfield we were disappointed to find that, with a little more planning, we might well have been able to have been accommodated at the delightfully named "Peter Allen Motor Inn"

Can't get a room in Tenterfield? Then go to Rio!

10 May 2023 - Ballina to Woodenbong

Up betimes at the Fairview Apartment to head to the wonderfully named town of Woodenbong.

As one leaves Ballina it is difficult to fail to see "The Big Prawn", an impressive erection which is certainly larger and a good deal more impressive than its Western Australian counterpart at Exmouth.

The Big Prawn - too big to fit on even a 5 burner barbecue from Bunnings

Having missed Gulargumbone (see 2 May (formerly and incorrectly, 2 April) 2023))    the Prop was determined that he would not miss the opportunity to proudly boast that he had inhaled the sweet scent of Wooden bong.

Although the journey from Ballina to "the 'Bong" is relatively short (about 140 kilometres) it is a pleasant trip filled with rolling, lush, verdant hills and valleys. Between Lismore and the 'Bong stands Mt Lindesay, an ancient volcanice relic which is a sacred place to the local "first nations people" (that is the preferred nomenclature, Dude) and the subject of much Dreamtime mythology.

Mt Lindesay - part of the Dreamtime in the 'Bong region.

Upon arrival at the 'Bong the Prop and Mrs P visited the local tourist information centre, otherwise known as the Wooduck Inn  or, more prosaically, the Woodenbong Hotel.

The Wooduck Inn - we ducked inn!

The interior of the Woodenbong Tourist Information Centre

Next, a visit to the Woodenbong Pharmacy. Outwardly, this was a perfectly ordinary "drug store" (as North Americans might say) but the Prop is inclined to wonder precisely what may be available at a wooden bong pharmacy.

The Wooden Bong Pharmacy - "Warm smell of colitas rising up through the air"?

Not far from the Woodenbong Pharmacy stands an inconspicuous building at which, it seems, local residents may trade in their old and unserviceable wooden bongs for new or refurbished models. 

The Woodenbong wooden bong Exchange - a truly remarkable innovation!

To end the day the Prop and Mrs P returned to the Wooduck Inn to enjoy a non-Israeli, non-kosher nosh with a glass or two of 19 Crimes Shiraz. Perfick!

The Prop pictured sampling all 19 Crimes which, in former times, might result in transportation to the Antipodes

9 May 2023 - Ballina

Up betimes after a restful night in the Prop's upgraded luxury Fairview Apartment at Ballina.

The upgraded luxury Fairview apartment

The luxury apartment - a pretty fair view

Having organised a luncheon engagement with the leading Ballina solicitor Ben "Hector" Crawford, the Prop and Mrs P set aside the morning to reconnoitre the local environs. 

The "Fairviews" are located close to an old lighthouse which, by a remarkable coincidence, overlooks a beach called Lighthouse Beach. 

The1866 lighthouse overlooking Lighthouse Beach

At the southern end of Lighthouse Beach the mighty Richmond River meets the Pacific Ocean. So mighty is the Richmond River that the local municipal Council has been compelled to construct not inconsiderable breakwalls on both banks. In lively weather - like today - both breakwalls are called on to absorb the unrelenting force of the south-easterly Pacific swell.

The South Breakwall - really swell!

An eagle-eyed local keeping watch over the breakwalls

The end of the North Breakwall - creating a bit of a splash!

Having spent the morning reconnoitering (is that even a word) like buggery, the Prop and Mrs P headed for the Ballina Courthouse.

The Ballina Courthouse - a most necessary facility in this lawless region of northern New South Wales

As it happens, the Ballina Courthouse stands opposite the law offices of Somerville, Laundry, Lomax, solicitors and laundromat,  being the very location at which "Hector" Crawford has been lawyering (and cleansing dirty linen one way or another) for nearly 30 years.

Despite his Tasmanian origins and having spent some time working for and with the Prop, Hector exudes a refined and cosmopolitan disposition and suggested that we take luncheon at the "Tel Aviv Yafo" a nearby establishment which specialises in Israeli cuisine - presumably entirely kosher! 

The Prop and local legal luminary "Hector" Crawford discuss "the rule of law" and Israeli culinary trends at the Tel Aviv Yafo, Ballina

Following luncheon, the Prop and Mrs P journeyed in the Tadpole to Lennox Head and to the "Pat Morton: Look Out!" to appreciate and view the very vast vista available. 

Thence, to the Fairviews - for a bit more luxury.

May 8 2023 - Nambucca Heads to Ballina

Up betimes on a warm, sunny morning to commence the journey to the Fairview Apartments at Ballina.

A warm, sunny morning at Nambucca Heads

For some days Mrs P had been receiving suspiciously similar posts of a Danube River cruise from two different Facebook friends, one who lives in Tassie, the other in Melbourne. It turns out that, unknown to each other, they were both on the same vessel! Mrs P therefore took steps to enable them to identify each other and, overnight we received confirmation that they had met - more or less by accident!

Accidental cruise companions - one wide awake, the other, somnolent

Notwithstanding the confusion created by the Prop electing to traverse Tourist Route No 12 (and to a lesser extent, No 15) the Prop, yet again, chose to leave the Pacific Freeway and follow Tourist Route No 16 which includes Hungry Head and Urunga

Hungry Head - no fast food outlet but there must must be a pun there somewhere

Urunga is a delightful riparian settlement which includes a timber boardwalk that is well over a kilometre in length together with a rather stately near century-old pub, the Ocean View Hotel. An highly delightful location!

The Urunga Boardwalk

Another view of the magnificent Urunga Boardwalk

The Ocean View Hotel, Urunga

Having sampled the delights of the splendidly un-confusing Tourist Drive No 16, the Prop and Mrs P headed for Coffs Harbour. 

Alas, upon arrival at Coffs Harbour it appeared to the Prop that some mischievous miscreant had erected a number of signs warning the residents of that city of the imminent arrival of the Prop. Numerous signs proclaimed "Sealy - Look Out!"

One of the defamatory signs erected at Coffs Harbour

Upon closer inspection, it appears that the offending signs were not aimed at the Prop but we're instead intended to direct visitors to Coffs Harbour to a local vantage point.

Sealy: Look Out!

Disappointingly, the cafe adjacent to the "Sealy Lookout Forest Sky Pier" (which has no association with Sealys Shop & Café in Bothwell, Tasmania) was not open for business. It was therefore not possible to ascertain why it was that the good folk of Coffs Harbour had named this location in honour of the Prop.

Confused yet again, the Prop and Mrs P sought out the Fairview Apartments in East Ballina.

(By way of response to recent unjustified criticism levelled at the Prop's literary style (nay, his very ouvre) the Prop fully appreciates that the foregoing narrative lacks a true literary beginning, middle and end but this is journalism, not fiction!)