15 days into the Odyssey and the Prop finally manages to get Internet Access!

In the interim, the little news that filtered through to us suggested that grave fears were held for our safety.

Fear not – all is well!

A brief rundown on progress so far

Saturday 8^th September

A mostly uneventful flight to London (via Bangkok). At Bangkok Airport we tried out the special “smoking rooms”. These are akin to a King’s Cross “shooting gallery”. Upwards of 20 individuals stand in a 3m X 3m poorly ventilated (perhaps even unventilated) booth and enjoy a quiet smoke – mostly other people’s smoke! Without scuba gear it is impossible to remain in the room for the duration of a single cigarette. The rich aroma which infiltrates one’s clothing remains with us yet. May be time to think about giving up.

Thai Airways business class is pretty good. Food OK – but roast duck at 5.00am takes some getting used to. The much vaunted seats have a control panel which resembles the cockpit of a 747. However, for all the buttons and motors and lumbar supports and massage cycles, the Prop would have been better off in a Laz-E-Boy recliner!

Sunday 9^th September

We landed at Heathrow 10 minutes early and were given “express” passes to speed through customs and immigration. We felt sympathy for the masses of the great unwashed who were forced to line up in the “Others” queue – but for once the Prop’s egalitarian ideals were easily cast aside as we swept effortlessly past!

I don’t suppose anyone would enjoy their job at 7.15am on a Sunday morning, but the rent-a-car man at Heathrow was the very acme of apathy. Nevertheless, after persuading the Prop and his wife that it would be a good idea for them to pay for a full of tank of petrol in advance – so that we wouldn’t have to fill the car up before we returned it – we were more or less on our way. (Upon mature reflection, we concluded that unless we managed to return the car with a completely empty tank, we had been ripped off. This sales technique proves that apathy and avarice are not necessarily incompatible.)

Armed with detailed navigation instructions we set forth for York via the “great circle route”. This route is so-called because it involves missing the turnoff from the giant ring-road that surrounds London and going around in great circles and getting nowhere. Eventually, the Prop jury-rigged some electronic navigation (for those interested, full details will be published later) and the circle was broken!

We left Greater London at about 10.00am (after about 2 hours of that circle stuff) and made the four hour drive to York by about 3.00pm (Go figure!)

We were greeted by our hosts, Emeritus Prof. Lyons and “Squirt” Taylor. Both asserted that the only way to beat jet lag was not to sleep! To this end we were route-marched through central York, before dining at a Sri Lankan Pizzeria.

The proprietor must have known that we had to keep awake because, just as we were beginning to flag, he threatened to kill (and/or dismiss) the Italian chef before our very eyes because of the latter’s failure to deliver our pizzas on time. This was all the more surprising because there was no “ready in 60 minutes or they’re free” policy in place. More walking followed…then unconsciousness!

Monday 10^th September

Prof. Lyons took us on an even longer walk around York (or perhaps it was the whole of Yorkshire!) including walking the entire length of the home straight at York racecourse. “Nether Hornpot Lane” although interesting, was not as titillating as its name may suggest

Tuesday 11^th September

A trip to Yorkshire Dales so that the Prop’s wife could track down James Herriott and have a word to him about that thing he does with long gloves and cows! Didn’t manage to find him. This may be just as well because we don’t own any cows and I don’t relish the thought of the Props’ wife practising on me!

Wednesday 12^th September

A day trip to Edinburgh by train travelling first Class courtesy of the Professor and “Squirt”. Happened to bump into Alan Fong & Suzy Fiddaman (who were up from London for the day and also up from Melbourne for the month) at the end of the Royal Mile. The Professor politely declined the walk around Edinburgh preferring instead to concentrate on academic matters at a succession of local hostelries. The Prop took the opportunity to inspect the artillery at Edinburgh Castle at close quarters.

Thursday 13^th September

A drive to inspect Castle Howard. The owners were evidently having an “open home”. They must want to sell it. Nice enough place - but a bit big for the Prop and his wife and a real bugger to keep warm in winter. We told them “Thanks, but no thanks.”

Friday 14^th September

We bade farewell to the Professor and “Shrimp” and headed for Bristol via Bath.

In point of fact the Professor had risen at 05.00 hours to travel to London on an urgent academic assignment and we couldn’t be bothered getting up that early to see him off so we bade him farewell the night before.

Saturday 15^th September

Millenium Stadium, Cardiff to see Australia v Wales.

Travelled from Bristol to Cardiff in a train that was packed much tighter than any scrum the Prop was ever in! Australia won, but the final scoreline was perhaps a little flattering to the visitors. Nevertheless, the win virtually assures Australia of finishing at the top of their pool.

Other results mean that Australia will almost certainly meet England (rather than South Africa) in the Quarter Final in Marseilles.

Sunday 16^th September

From Bristol to Heathrow to return the hire car with an almost full tank of petrol! (Refer comments under 9^th September, above) Then to Frankfurt on British Airways. Then by taxi to Motel One, Sprendlinger Landstrasse, Offenbach. As a matter of interest the taxi fare from Frankfurt Airport to Offenbach (about 10km) cost more that the airfares from London to Frankfurt! However the Prop and his wife are not entirely convinced that the taxi driver delivered them by the shortest practicable route!

Monday 17^th September

To McRent, Offenbach to collect the famous “McRent ReiseMobile”. After a 7 hour briefing on how to operate the chemical toilet and how to drive on the wrong side of the road (these things not to be done simultaneously) we were underway. By this time the Prop had cunningly obtained a GPS with full-routable maps of England & Europe. Accordingly, with great excitement and full of confidence that there would be no repeat of the “Great Circle Route Incident” (see Sunday 9^th September) we set off for the Black Forest!